Yesterday I took a saliva test. For those of you who have done the same, you know what it entails. For the rest of you, I'll spare the details. It's actually a very handy test for acquiring information. And in my case, specific to my adrenal and hormonal function.
I proudly completed the test. My biggest personal challenge was the requirement I sustain from coffee, tea, and chocolate for the 24 hour period. Emotionally, I let go of needing my morning coffee, afternoon chocolate, and evening tea. Yet the physical reactions I experienced from their absence were surprising and unsettling. I had low energy in the morning and felt out of sync all day. At work, I felt fuzzy and lethargic. My day felt confusing and difficult.
What I really wanted to do was nap or perhaps hide from the public. As I plowed on, I developed a new awareness - I was tired. I had been "burning the candle at both ends"as my Father would say. It took the break from stimulants to acknowledge how much I push myself, how little I rest, and how much energy I expel on the stress of my Life; the stress that I create!
I became aware of something else I have been doing to myself. I've misdirected my Focus.
I have been concentrating my time, attention, and energy on my "human-doing-ness" rather than being the human; I am. For me to change, I must first become aware and then accept, rather than fight, what I discover. Buddha says, "It is the resistance to what is,
that creates the suffering."
There is a Universal principle that states, whatever we focus on ~ expands. Slowing down allowed me to see the direction and quality of my choices.
Why is it, that I require uncomfortable reminders that I am not living from my authentic place? That I am racing to compete, complete, and to be acknowledged from the outside? Why do I choose to experience dis-ease, confusion, and self punishment when I could choose to listen within, and live out ~ happy, joyous and free?
I have the power to change my Life. I am the power and the one responsible for my choices. No matter at what starting block I stand, it is my choice which direction to jump, or whether to jump
As this Holiday season encroaches, the traditional celebrations of my Life and memory, have transformed. And so I have a choice. I can look longingly at the past and what was, or choose to be present and embrace what is ~today. Shifting my focus engages my energy and directs my power to create the experience I want.
My focus is Love.
Being present~ acknowledging, listening, trusting
and loving, myself.
Loving my neighbor as myself.
Doing on to others as I would have them, do onto me!
And in the words of John Lennon and Paul McCartney:
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be,
There's nothing you can know that isn't known,
Nothing you can see that isn't shown,
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
All you need is Love, Love is all you need!