Self Care and Compassion

Is It Time to Realign?

Is It Time to Realign?

When I am feeling challenged,
I will cultivate spaciousness
and kindness for myself,
and instead of seeing my
vulnerabilities as weakness,
I will recognize my humanness.
— Mary O’Malley

Lately I’ve been feeling restless, irritable and discontent. Maybe not all three at once yet as a recovering alcoholic, I know these to be red flags to pay attention to.

With over 33 years of sobriety I trust that today I won’t choose to take a drink to blot out or endure my reality. Yet the behaviors of a dri-drunk (discontent, restless, irritable) can certainly pose a threat to my quality of Life. To my inner peace and personal happiness.

The intense upheaval of today’s world seems to toss me around like a small boat in a perfect storm. I am beginning to fear a breach in my hull.

It feels like I could buckle under the pressure. That I could find myself broken and lost at sea.

Have you too, been experiencing these emotions to some degree?

Let’s look to see how they might alert us - that it’s time to realign.

Restless-

We are impatient. Everything takes longer than it should. We are unable to sit still or finish a task. We look for things (sugar anyone?) to feed our gnawing internal hunger. We succumb to any distraction daring it to be our next right step. We are in a hurry. We feel our anger growing at yet another delay…

Irritable-

We are impatient. Everyone and everything rattles our cage. We feel captive, unable to defend ourselves from daily mishaps or other’s ineptness. We feel brittle and exposed. Our annoyance lurks just below the surface. We get after ourselves for feeling irritable. We make ourselves wrong. We collect even more evidence for our irritation…

Discontent-

We are impatient. (notice a pattern here?) We are not happy. No one seems to notice or really care. Everyone seems to be engaged, accomplishing big things. We take their personal inventory. (ref to AA 4th Step) We judge them in an effort to make ourselves feel better. It doesn’t work. It’s anti-productive. We review our list of reasons why our lives fall short. We remind ourselves that we must not be good enough. We feel even more discontent. It’s cyclic, it continues…

So how do we shift from self-deprecation to realign with our true selves, our kindness and acceptance?

How do we reposition our attention from resistance to allowing, from a belief in lack to gratitude?

Over the years, I’ve developed a practice that helps me to realign myself before I unravel. Once I realize I am spiraling down, I pause by taking several conscious deep breaths.

I slow myself down to be interested in what is going on in the present.

  • In the role of witness, I first identify what I am feeling. I give myself permission to feel whatever the feeling is.

  • Next I acknowledge my negative thinking and the language I use with myself and others.  I ask myself out loud, Does this feel right?
    Is this really true?

  • I observe how I am showing up. I identify my behaviors that do not serve me or my highest good.

  • Then I consciously shift my focus by asking myself out loud,
    What do I really want? Who do I choose to be in this moment?

Abraham-Hicks reminds us that “anything we give our attention to becomes our “truth.” The Law of Attraction says that it must. Your Life, and everyone else’s too, is but a reflection of the predominance of your thoughts. There is no exception to this.”

From a present focus, I am empowered to make conscious choices that honor and support my authentic self. The Universe is attracted to and responds to my new energy focus as well.

With awareness, willingness, and practice, we can shift our focus from  resisting Life - to allow and embrace a realignment with our truth… happy, joyous, free!

PONDER THIS

What is one way you could choose to realign with your truth?


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Taking responsibility for changing your Life is a powerful courageous decision! Learning how to make choices to honor you and your happiness is a practice, a new skill. I have partnered with others for over 35 years to teach, guide, and support them in this transformational process. If you’re ready to experience new joy in your Life, Click here to schedule a 30 min consultation to see how I might support you with that.

Our Present Action Overrides Regret!

Our Present Action Overrides Regret!

Regret of neglected opportunity is the worst hell
that a living soul can inhabit.
— Rafael Sabatini

Each day our lives offer us unlimited opportunities to be happy, to do the right thing, to make a difference, to create beauty, to heal a wound, to lift up another, to express unconditional love.

 The fulfillment of a Life lived in harmony and self-alignment is available to all of us. Yet at times we choose to ignore our heart’s calling. We blindly turn away from heeding our intuitive messages that urge us to clarify and honor our path.

 It has been said that regret is “self-inflicted” guilt: an undermining emotion with its roots in self-condemnation. We experience regret each time we wish we’d made a different decision regarding our behavior in our past.

 Regret can create a loop in our lives where we internally suffer the consequences of that choice, over and over again.

 Seeds of regret are planted in our consciousness when we deny the truth of who we are.  When we respond to an opportunity from the limitations of our ego rather than from the expansiveness of our heart, we nurture our regret!

 Do you have a habit of procrastinating until an opportunity is lost? Do you then secretly or perhaps blatantly, beat yourself up about it?

 Do you hesitate just long enough so as to eliminate the need to decide? Do you then blame yourself for being weak or others for being unfair?

 Do you stockpile those lost opportunities to fuel your resentment and regret?

 In her book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, author Bronnie Ware shares what she learned about regrets while offering palliative care to hundreds of people.

 Her Life was transformed by the collective grief and guilt of those who shared what they wish they’d done differently during their Life. Inevitably, all of our lives come to a place where - opportunities for change - are no longer offered.

 In a way, Bronnie Ware’s transformation can be the ultimate wake up call for us! We are not required to carry our regrets with us to the grave. We can change the trajectory and quality of our Life NOW by taking action to dismantle our regrets.

Here are the 5 most common regrets that were shared in end of Life reflection:

 I wish I had the courage to live a Life true to myself, not the Life others expected of me.

  • Is there an aspect of your Life where you are living out of alignment with yourself?

  • What belief do you have that keeps you from changing that?

  • What could it mean to you to find the courage to initiate a truer direction?

 I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

  • What belief do you have about being successful?

  • What sacrifices have you been suffering because of that belief?

  • If you let go of needing to work so hard, what might fill your Life instead?

 I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

  • What happens to the energies of the feelings that you suppress?

  • If you shared your feelings truthfully, how could your Life be different?

  • Imagine the freedom you could experience by honoring how you feel.

 I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

  • Take a moment to review the friends who’ve made a difference in your Life.

  • How have you continued to cultivate those valued relationships?

  • Who could you reach out to today to rekindle that connection?

 I wish I had let myself be happier.

  • What do you believe about being deserving?

  • Could you forgive yourself for the mistakes and wrongdoings you believe you have committed?

  • Just for today, could you give yourself permission to be happier?

Dismantling the regrets of our past is the first step to choosing a more fulfilling Life for ourselves. Consciously living in the present empowers our authentic and courageous response to each opportunity Life offers us!

PONDER THIS

What action could you take today to disband one regret
that you’ve been harboring?

  

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 Taking responsibility for changing your Life is a powerful courageous decision! Learning how to make choices to honor you and your happiness is a practice, a new skill. I have partnered with others for over 35 years to teach, guide, and support them in this transformational process. If you’re ready to make changes in your Life, Click here to schedule a 30 min consultation to see how I might support you with that.

Intention is a SuperPower

Intention is a SuperPower

Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. 
All things break. And all things can be mended. 
Not with time, as they say, but with intention. 
So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. 
The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.
— L.R. Knost

Even a rubber band has its limits! We’ve all been stretched in so many ways this year. Physically. Emotionally. Financially. Spiritually. Our worlds have shattered… individually and collectively,

It seems every structure, organization, system and cultural belief has been infected or crumbled under the weight of the Covid pandemic. We continue to experience loss and uncertainty. Many of us are on the verge of snapping under the pressure.

Recently though, we’ve been given a thread of hope from a vaccine and a promise of an eventual “herd immunity”. It can’t come soon enough.

We have finally been thrown a Life-line to shore up our perseverance. We’ve been given new incentive to continue to let go and to fortify what remains important to us. 

Yet how can we trust and reclaim our faith in a brighter tomorrow?

Anything is possible! Certainly we’ve learned this lesson the past 10 months. Now it is our responsibility to take thoughtful action. We develop trust when we become part of a solution. 

When we consciously choose forward movement, we cultivate our intention! An intention sets our focus in a particular direction. It lays out a path for us and clarifies our next right steps. 

It aligns us with our heart, summons the support of the Universe, and empowers us to courageously embrace change! 

Our intention is a superpower that burns within our spirit spark. We can choose to fan its flames. That commitment frees us to shine our brilliant light, to contribute - unapologetically!

During this pandemic, I dimmed my light to feel safe. I can only imagine you might have experienced something similar. As an intuitive empath I’ve learned to quiet my voice and retreat when I sense hostility and fear. Or maybe it’s just my own doubt… I lost sight of my path, power and purpose.  

Well, no more!

I share with you this message written on wall of Mother Teresa’s home for the children of Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

~ Mother Teresa

“I am a spiritual being courageously enthusiastically illuminating beauty, joy, and love in the world.”

Ponder This:


What is your intention to bring your light to the world?

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 Learning to trust yourself as you forge a new path in this world can feel overwhelming. Gaining clarity and a new focus can empower you to be courageous & confident. Schedule a 30 minute consultation to learn how my Claim Your Freedom Coaching Programs can support you.

TAME THE KRAKEN!

TAME THE KRAKEN!

Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
— Viktor E. Frankl

In Scandinavian folklore, the kraken is described as a gigantic sea monster. It has multiple spiked tentacles protruding from its head with powerful suckers that line the underside.

It is told that the kraken could appear out of nowhere, attacking and terrorizing everything in its path. Sailors claimed the monsters possess an uncanny ability to deceive and remain rampant -simply by paralyzing its opponents with fear.

In the 2010 movie Clash of the Titan’s, Zeus (Liam Neeson) in his final  effort to cease the fighting between the mortals and the Gods - thunders his command “Release the kraken!”

I remember watching that movie and shuddering at the sound of what felt like armageddon. 

What if COVID-19 is the kraken being unleashed upon us in 2020?

It is deceptively present without being visible, terrorizes all within its reach and lacks any discrimination in choosing its victims. Its powerful tentacles rip through the infrastructure of our lives. It shreds our health, education, economic and social systems. 

The virus incites irrational fear and claims devastating loss. It blurs our trust in everything we know to be familiar. The prolonged threat and trauma strain and distort our connection - the very nucleus of human relationships.

Though both Earth and her people have engaged in horrific battles, the greatest impact has not been from the outer chaos we observe.

The great disconnect comes from its insidious penetration into our individual hearts and psyche…

Yet, there is a ray of Hope - a course of action, a path still illuminated!

That light is within us as our spirit spark, our free-will, and our power of choice.

Rather than fight a battle I cannot win, I seek that space within me that is solid, safe, and free. I reconnect for guidance, direction, and support with my 7 tenets of Life.

Courage - I revive my valiant warrior!

Focus - I consciously direct my attention.

Integrity - I emulate my stance of truth.

Compassion - I cultivate kindness, acceptance, love.

Presence - I create and communicate from this now moment.

Surrender - I empower my freedom by letting go.

Gratitude - I choose to live in a state of rejoicing! 

 When I choose my response, I am empowered to tame the kraken and remain afloat.

PONDER THIS:

How do you exercise your innate power to respond
to the triggers of your world?

My Part is Love

My Part is Love

Do not be daunted by the enormity
of the world’s grief.
Do justly, now. Love mercy, now.
Walk humbly, now.
You are not obligated to complete the work,

but neither are you free to abandon it.

— from The Talmud 303

Last year my yoga teacher and treasured friend shared this inspiration at the beginning of a yoga practice. At the time it caught my attention. I knew it was important.

Now I know why.

Our world and everything we’ve known is in flux, in transformation. Each morning we are invited to consider what is no longer working or necessary and what new path we might embrace. 

Many of us have been forced to drop out of the unsustainable pace we were living in. Perhaps we’ve been quarantined from ourselves and the reckless way we may have choked Life out of each day.

The Earth’s Life force has begun to surge again as humanity’s rampage and abuse subsides. In some ways, this global upheaval could represent her last attempt to capture our attention, to beg for mercy.

Daily I seek my spiritual Truth. I am aware that both the world and the ground beneath me, appear to lurch and roll beyond my control. 

This is what I know today…

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. 
Our collective loss is unfathomable! Not only of human Life, but loss of routines, systems, identities and beliefs that use to provide us our framework to function. 

Focusing on media updates of our pandemic catastrophe can make us feel inundated, intimidated, and powerless. We must bring our attention back to our own feelings of loss and sadness where we can acknowledge and heal from the inside, out.  

Do justly, now.
The virus has given us a universal opportunity to create a new norm of equality and fairness. It has exposed our cultural myth that unique means divided.

We are free and responsible to act authentically, do what we believe is right, and unify our efforts for the greatest good for all. 

Love mercy, now.
Compassion, forgiveness, kindness, and love, a mission performed out of a desire to relieve suffering…

We look for ways to demonstrate our mercy in every opportunity that Life presents to us. 

Walk humbly now. 
Let’s check in to see where we may be arrogant or less than respectful in our relationships with Mother Earth and others. Where do we show up in our fear rather than with our assertiveness?

As I shift my focus from me and my own self-importance - I see how to walk humbly in the privilege of Life, health, and belonging. I recognize my power to choose my own response to every interaction before me.

You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Just as was true for our parents, generations, and ancestors before us, no one singular group can possibly realign our human course to heal, survive, and thrive.

Yet when each of us take a stand within our own human-ness to contribute our gifts, strengths, and Truth, we collectively hold in motion the direction of our intentions and the power of our love.

PONDER THIS

How do you show up to contribute to the greater good?