“I have projected the same images day after day
Becoming prisoner to the known.
But the known is dead and past now
And I must buy my ticket to freedom
By embracing the fresh and unknown.
”
Resting on my laurels has rarely been my MO. Unless of course we talk about the infrequent times where I embrace complacency - where I allow myself to get real comfy with all that is familiar in my Life.
I have a curious nature yet when I’m feeling afraid or kind of off my center I tend to luxuriate in my old ways.
That includes placating myself to believe I’m okay with resting in the comfort and acknowledgment of my past pursuits and accomplishments.
Recently I found myself butting up against a new turning point.
Rather than continue to reach out wider and further into my familiar ways, I screeched to a halt of awareness in my career, my writing, my relationships, my activities, and especially with the relationship with myself.
What do I mean by this?
I have experienced frustration more like apathy and lack of motivation to continue to pursue the usual paths, to keep on keeping on. . .
My recent conversations with myself have focused on an openness and willingness to listen for deeper meaning. I’ve recommitted to experience the peace and contentment that comes from living in alignment with my spiritual self.
I find myself pausing before answering another’s question,
pausing before I make an automatic decision,
pausing to breathe , to consider,
pausing to feel the rumblings of my body and my heart.
This pausing is paced by my taking a breath. Actually breathing into my self and then listening.
Really listening.
To what surfaces as messages from my spirit, from my highest self, from my connection to the Divine.
Wow! What a different daily experience I am having.
This new approach basically snuck up on me. It wasn’t as if I was searching for it, for an answer to my restlessness, for a new direction. (Well maybe I was, just a little)
I didn’t know a new way of showing up was the answer!
Being a Taurus, I can be calm, patient, reliable, loyal, affectionate, and ambitious. An Earth element! And from another source describing Taurus characteristics, I can also tend to be tenacious, resilient, and sensual.
Ok, so far, so good. . .
Yet I know of some other personal characteristics I have worked on to temper and make peace with throughout my Life. At least during the times in Life when I was aware.
Stubborn? Yep!
Possessive nature? Yep!
Fear of the unknown? Yep!
Need to be in control? Yep!
There is a fine line, a turning point, between having this pause benefit me as a way to honor myself - and having it contribute to boredom and unrest.
The most obvious impact this place of indifference or restlessness makes is how it can stagnate my imagination and creativity. It eventually erodes away my confidence and then my sense of self.
Inch by inch, day by day, my focus shifts from what could be good and possible to questioning myself, my faith, and my beliefs.
If I wait too long before taking action or seeking something new, the pause becomes the prison that holds me back from my ability to move forward. My abilities, skills, and courage are suspended in the abyss of complacency.
This may sound a bit dramatic I suppose.
Yet, I wonder if you can relate?
For me it is an awareness of a thinking pattern that determines a behavior pattern that just doesn’t serve me.
I’ve learned how important it is to my Life and my well being to
pause in this awareness and then make a conscious decision to step forward. . .
This is my wish for me… This is my wish for you
May we trust that we are safe and embrace
that which scares us and makes us feel uncomfortable.
May we celebrate our innate freedom
that empowers us to make our own choices.
May we engage our courage to move forward,
to expand and elevate our perception, enrich our experiences,
and break free from any reason to limit celebrating our lives!